[922] What Father Knows

Title : What Father Knows
Poet : Edgar Guest
Date : 23 Oct 2001
1stLine: My father knows the ...
Length : 40 Text-only version  
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What Father Knows
My father knows the proper way
  The nation should be run;
He tells us children every day
  Just what should now be done.
He knows the way to fix the trusts,
  He has a simple plan;
But if the furnace needs repairs
  We have to hire a man.

My father, in a day or two,
  Could land big thieves in jail;
There's nothing that he cannot do,
  He knows no word like "fail."
"Our confidence" he would restore,
  Of that there is no doubt;
But if there is a chair to mend
  We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise
  He settles on the spot;
He waits not till the tumult dies,
  But grabs it while its hot.
In matters of finance he can
  Tell Congress what to do;
But, O, he finds it hard to meet
  His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read
  The things law-makers say;
Why, father's just the man they need;
  He never goes astray.
All wars he'd very quickly end,
  As fast as I can write it;
But when a neighbor starts a fuss
  'Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can
  Do many wondrous things;
He's built upon a wiser plan
  Than presidents or kings.
He knows the ins and outs of each
  And every deep transaction;
We look to him for theories,
  But look to ma for action.

   -- Edgar Guest


A delightfully funny poem - Guest takes a simple idea and expands upon it
cleverly and with a nice sense of verse. The poem is, however, spoilt
slightly by the penultimate verse, which not only contains the awkward
phrase "as fast as I can write it", but, in its last line, ruins the impact
of the final verse - IMO "ma" should have been left out until the very end,
to be produced with a flourish and provide a conclusion rendered funnier by
its unexpectedness. Still, overall a poem I was glad to discover.

Links:

We've run two of Guest's poems on Minstrels:
  poem #496 (with biography)
  poem #733

My semiregular Poets' Corner plug:
  http://www.poets-corner.org/

-martin