The Wondering Minstrels

Theme: Humor

The Purist I give you now Professor Twist, A conscientious scientist. Trustees exclaimed, “He never bungles!” And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside, One day he missed his loving bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. “You mean,” he said, “a crocodile.” Ogden Nash Sarah Byng Who could not read and was tossed into a thorny hedge by a Bull Some years ago you heard me sing My doubts on Alexander Byng. His sister Sarah now inspires My jaded Muse, my failing fires. Of Sarah Byng the tale is told 5 How when the child was twelve years old She could not read or write a line. Her sister Jane, though barely nine, Could spout the Catechism through And parts of Matthew Arnold too. 10 While little Bill who came between Was quite unnaturally keen On “Athalie” by Jean Racine. But not so Sarah! Not so Sal! She was a most uncultured girl 15 Who didn’t care a pinch of snuff For any literary stuff And gave the classics all a miss. Observe the consequence of this! As she was walking home one day, 20 Upon the fields across her way A gate, securely padlocked, stood, And by its side a piece of wood On which was painted plain and full, BEWARE THE VERY FURIOUS BULL. 25 Alas! The young illiterate Went blindly forward to her fate, And ignorantly climbed the gate! Now happily the Bull that day Was rather in the mood for play 30 Than goring people through and through As Bulls so very often do; He tossed her lightly with his horns Into a prickly hedge of thorns, And stood by laughing while she strode 35 And pushed and struggled to the road. The lesson was not lost upon The child, who since has always gone A long way round to keep away >From signs, whatever they may say, 40 And leaves a padlocked gate alone. Moreover she has wisely grown Confirmed in her instinctive guess That literature breeds distress. Hilaire Belloc, on his own work: "His sins were scarlet, but his books were read."

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A brief note on collections. Probably worth a quick read at this point.