[1177] The Way I Am
Guest poem sent in by David Wright <David.Wright@>
This song is for anyone
f--k it.
Just shut up and listen
I sit back with this pack
of Zig Zags and this bag
of this weed it gives me
the s--t needed to be
the most meanest MC
on this Earth and since birth
I've been cursed with this curse
to just curse and just blurt
this berserk and bizarre s--t that works
And it sells and it helps in itself
to relieve all this tension
dispensin’ these sentences
Gettin’ this stress
that's been eatin’ me recently
off of this chest
and I rest again peacefully…
but at least have the decency
in you to leave me
alone, when you freaks
see me out in the streets
when I'm eatin’ or feedin’
my daughter to not
come and speak to me
I don't know you
and no, I don't owe you
a mo-therf--k-ing
thing, I'm not Mr. N'Sync,
I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly,
I can be a prick if you tempt me
my tank is on empty
No patience is in me
and if you offend me
I'm liftin’ you 10 feet
in the air
I don't care
who is there
and who saw me destroy you
Go call you a lawyer,
file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom
and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you...
I don't mean to be mean
but that's all I can be
is just me
And I am,
whatever you say I am
If I wasn't,
then why would I say I am?
In the paper,
the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am,
whatever you say I am
If I wasn't,
then why would I say I am?
In the paper,
the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
Sometimes I just feel like my father,
I hate to be bothered
with all of this nonsense
it's constant
And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content -
- the song 'Guilty Conscience'
has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy
circles me and it seems
like the media immediately
points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em,
but not the index or pinkie
or the ring or the thumb,
it's the one you put up
when you don't give a f--k,
when you won't just put up
with the bulls--t they pull,
cause they full of s--t too
When a dude's getting’ bullied
and shoots up his school
and they blame it on Marilyn
and the heroin -
Where were the parents at?
And look where it's at
Middle America,
now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see,
an upper class ci-ty
havin’ this happenin’
then attack Eminem
cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed
me the fuel that I need
for the fire to burn
and it's burnin’
and I have returned.
I'm so sick and tired
of bein’ admired
that I wish that I
would just die or get fired
and dropped from my label
and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able
to top on "My Name is..."
And pigeon-holed into some
pop-py sensation
to cop me rotation
at rock'n'roll stations
And I just do not got the patience
to deal with these cocky caucasians
who think I'm some wigger
who just tries to be black
cause I talk with an ac-
cent, and grab on my balls,
so they always keep askin’
the same f--kin’ questions
What school did I go to,
what hood I grew up in
The why, the who what when,
the where, and the how
'til I'm grabbin’ my hair
and I'm tearin’ it out
cause they drivin’ me crazy...
I can't take it
I'm racin’, I'm pacin’,
I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for ev-
ery fan that I get
But I can't take a sh-t,
in the bathroom without
someone standin’ by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an ass---le
I'm glad ‘cuz I am,
whatever you say I am
If I wasn't,
then why would I say I am?
In the paper,
the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am,
whatever you say I am
If I wasn't,
then why would I say I am?
In the paper,
the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
-- Eminem
|
I’m one of an increasing number of older music fans who are listening to
Eminem and other rappers – and while I’m not out to proselytize for rap,
I don’t know many poetry people who are interested in his work, or in
other rappers – and least of all those old-school poetry fans who feel
in their heart of hearts that it isn’t really poetry if it doesn’t have
strong metrics or even rhyme. Little do they know we’re in a
renaissance of rhyme right now, and for millions of Americans, this is
poetry. And I really think he’s one of the best satirists out there
today, and that the rhyming and rhythmic skills of artists like Eminem,
Jay-Z, Nas and others is right up there with Chaucer. The audacity,
outrage, pain, absurdity, intelligence, irony and sheer guts of much of
Eminem’s stuff is impressive. It doesn't translate all that well to the
page, but for readers who'll never go near the music, I think it might
be worthwhile to have some idea what's going on, hence this submission.
I’m an old fan of Middle English lit, and I couldn’t help but be
struck by the similarity of this stuff to Skeltonics. (I’m not the
first person to draw this connection – see: John Skelton: The Godfather
of Rap http://searchenginez.com/skelton.html)
Take a look at this excerpt from Colyn Clout and you’ll see right
away what I mean – Skelton was going after Cardinal Wolsey.
From Colyn Clout (1519)
W H A T can it avail
To drive forth a snail,
Or to make a sale
Of an herring’s tail;
To rhyme or to rail,
To write or to indict,
Either for delight
Or else for despite;
Or books to compile
Of divers manner style,
Vice to revile
And sin to exile;
To teach or to preach,
As reason will reach?
Say this, and say that,
His head is so fat,
He wotteth never what
Nor whereof he speaketh;
He cryeth and he creaketh,
He pryeth and he peaketh,
He chides and he chatters,
He prates and he patters,
He clytters and he clatters,
He meddles and he smatters,
He glosses and he flatters;
Or if he speak plain,
Than he lacketh brain,
He is but a fool;
Let him go to school,
On a three footed stool
That he may down sit,
For he lacketh wit;
And if that he hit
The nail on the head,
It standeth in no stead;
The devil, they say, is dead,
The devil is dead.
It may well so be,
Or else they would se
Otherwise, and flee
From worldly vanity,
And foul covetousness,
And other wretchedness,
Fickle falseness,
Variableness,
With unstableness.
And if ye stand in doubt
Who brought this rhyme about,
My name is Colyn Cloute.
I purpose to shake out
All my conning bag,
Like a clerkly hag;
For though my rhyme be ragged,
Tattered and jagged,
Rudely rayne beaten,
Rusty and moth-eaten,
If ye take well therewith,
It hath in it some pith.
For, as far as I can se,
It is wrong with each degree:
For the temporality
Accuseth the spirituality;
The spiritual again
Doth grudge and complain
Upon the temporal men:
Thus each of other blother
The t’one against the t’other:
Alas, they make me shudder!
Lest you think that Skelton has the edge for being politically inclined,
here’s some more Eminem -
From Squaredance - (The Eminem Show)
Let your hair down to the track,
yeah kick on back (Boo!)
The Boogiemonster of rap,
yeah the man's back
with a plan to ambush
this Bush administration
Mush the Senate's face in,
push this generation
of kids to stand and fight
for the right to say somethin’
you might not like,
this white hot light
that I'm under, no wonder
I look so sunburnt
Oh no I won't leave no stone unturned
Oh no I won't leave, won't go nowhere
Do-si-do, oh-yo-ho, hello there
Oh yeah, don't think I won't go there
Go to Beirut and do a show there.
Yeah you laugh till your motherf--kin ass gets drafted
While you're at band camp thinkin’ the crap can't happen
'Til you f--k around, get an anthrax napkin
Inside a package wrapped in Saran Wrap wrappin’
Open the plastic and then you stand back gaspin’
F--kin assassins, hijackin’ Amtraks, crashin’
All this terror, America demands action
Next thing you know, you've got Uncle Sam's ass askin’
to join the Army or what you'll do for their Navy
You just a baby, getting’ recruited at eighteen
You're on a plane now, eatin’ their food and their baked beans
I'm twenty-eight, they gon’ take you 'fore they take me
Crazy insane, or insane crazy?
When I say Hussein, you say Shady
My views ain't changed,
still inhumane, wait
Arraigned two days late,
the date's today,
hang me!
And as someone who values our First Amendment freedoms, its hard not to
admire a guy who throws down a lyric like this to an audience a hundred
times larger than that of any pen-and-ink poet I can think of. Sam
Hamill and Amiri Baraka eat your hearts out...
From White America (The Eminem Show)
So to the parents of America
I am the derringer
aimed at little Erica
to attack her character
The ringleader of this circus of worthless pawns
Sent to lead the march right up to the steps of Congress and piss on the
lawns
of the White House - to burn the flag and replace it with a Parental
Advisory sticker
To spit liquor in the faces of this democracy of hypocrisy
F--k you Ms. Cheney!
F--k you Tipper Gore!
F--k you with the free-est of speech
this Divided States of Embarrassment will allow me to have-
F--k you!
-- Eminem
(from the Marshall Mathers LP)
David Wright
[Martin adds]
As David rightly predicted when he sent this in, I was in two minds
about running it. I admit to not being a fan of rap music (and, in
particular, not a fan of Eminem and his ilk, who seem to me to overdo
the use of expletives for a diminishingly-returned shock value), and was
somewhat worried about the potential offensiveness of the lyrics.
Still, David's commentary was interesting and thought provoking, and I
think what finally tipped the balance was the realisation that I would
have run the Skelton piece for sheer historical value, even though I
didn't care too much for it either.
Also, to be perfectly fair, rap was never intended to be standalone
verse - like many other song genres, it works much better with its
accompanying music, and tends to suffer when printed in isolation. In
particular, there is a certain apparent roughness to the verse rhythms
that in actuality is not so much rough as performance-oriented. Rap may
scan by sheer fiat in places, but it does so very convincingly. And,
more than any other form I've seen, it has raised assonance to the
status of a perfectly acceptable substitute for a true rhyme. The
assonance mixes freely with the rhyme, and the both work - no mean feat.
And finally, as David so rightly pointed out, for those of you who will
never listen to the music, it's nice to have at least a passing idea of
what's out there.
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From: "David McKelvie" <david@>
I'm glad you posted this. I'm not a hip-hop fan as such, but it promotes a
love of words that isn't found in many other places. And surely a love of
words is one of the foundations of poetry? And if it makes even just a
handful of teenagers turn to "proper poetry" {what a godawful phrase!} then
that can only be a good thing. Many modern poets listened to Dylan and Cohen
in their youth. The poets of the future will take a lot from Eminem.
David
From: "Ann Welp" <awelp@>
Mr. DeMello, I'm surprised at you!
From: Raj <rajb@>
Wow, the Skelton thing was quite new to me. I wonder if it was meant
to be recited the same way as rap...it would sound so perfect that way.
I am kinda-sorta a rap fan, the kind who prefers the rythm more than the
actual content and I like Eminem coz I think he has genuine charisma. BTW,
"Lose Yourself" (from the 8 mile soundtrack) is my personal favorite.
Raj
From: NGGulley@
Martin, I have admired you and your colleagues for making the artistry and
beauty of
poetry available for all to enjoy and appreciate, but I am saddened that
you would "dumb down" this beautiful literary genre by giving space on your
website to the writings of Eminem.
From: NGGulley@
Martin, I have admired you and your colleagues for making the artistry and
beauty of
poetry available for all to enjoy and appreciate, but I am saddened that
you would "dumb down" this beautiful literary genre by giving space on your
website to the writings of Eminem.
From: "Davis, Martin" <MDAVIS@>
At the end of your commentary, you wrote :
"And finally, as David so rightly pointed out, for those of you who will
never listen to the music, it's nice to have at least a passing idea of
what's out there."
Hm...I'm not sure about 'nice'; 'important but frightening' is closer to the
mark for me, I think! You were absolutely right to run it, though, despite
its shock value. It will be interesting to see reaction over the next few
days.
Thanks for the Minstrels,
Martin Davis
(who writes as a 53 year old and therefore more in touch with Dylan and
Cohen than Eminem!)
From: daniella <daniella@>
I just wanted to thank David and you for this one.
I am not the age nor do i live where i would have a chance of hearing
this, or most likely understanding the words when rapped fast.
Reading it i do see the spirit of the time expressed and the wit which
goes with the anger.
As to the indelicate language F--- it!
For once my surprise when getting this minstrel tid bit was very real!
Is there a web site where i could read more rap songs?
daniella
From: Martin DeMello <martindemello@>
Think of it as a celebration of diversity :) Seriously, I was
apprehensive about sending this myself, but the response has been mostly
positive, and it's sparked off a fascinating discussion on the
minstrelsd list, and some nice comments on the webpage. Several people
have enjoyed and it, and I thought David's original comments showed a
fine appreciation in every sense of the word. (I admit, I didn't care
for the lyrics all that much either, but I'm not sorry I ran it).
martin
From: Martin DeMello <martindemello@>
--- Ann Welp wrote:
> Mr. DeMello, I'm surprised at you!
Resisting the urge to quote Webster[1], I'll merely apologise if you were
offended by the song, and hope the rest of the poems we run make up for the
occasional one you dislike. Or were you merely expressing your shock at the
incongruity of seeing Eminem in such distinguished surroundings :) If so, I
think David's commentary justified the song's inclusion very well.
[1] http://www.curbstone.org/index.cfm?webpage=65
From: "richard hanson" <mkcrabtree@>
couldn't help but think of lou and peter berryman's "chat with your mother"
O the pirates with their fetid galleons, daggers in their skivvies
With infected tattooed fingers on a blunderbuss or two
Signs of scurvy in their eyes and only mermaids on their minds
It's from them I would expect to hear the F-word, not from you.
We sit down to have a chat, it's F-word this and F-word that.
I can't control how you young people talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use that F-word with your mother.
And the lumberjacks from Kodiak vacationing in Anchorage
Enchanted with their pine tar soap and caribou shampoo.
With seven weeks of back pay in their aromatic woolens
It's from them I would expect to hear the F-word, not from you.
We sit down to have a chat, it's F-word this and F-word that.
I can't control how you young people talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use that F-word with your mother.
There are militant survivalists with Gucci badoleros
Taking tacky khaki walkie talkies to their rendezvous.
Trading all the latest armor-piercing ammo information
It's from them I would expect to hear the F-word, not from you.
We sit down to have a chat, it's F-word this and F-word that.
I can't control how you young people talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use that F-word with your mother.
There are jocks who think that God himself is drooling in the bleachers
In a cold November downpour with a belly full of brew.
Whose entire grasp of heaven has a lot to do with football
It's from them I would expect to hear the F-word, not from you.
We sit down to have a chat, it's F-word this and F-word that.
I can't control how you young people talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use that F-word with your mother.
There's unsavory musicians with their filthy pinko lyrics
Who destroy the social fabric and enjoy it when they do.
With their groupies and addictions and their poor heartbroken parents
It's from them I would expect to hear the F-word, not from you.
We sit down to have a chat, it's F-word this and F-word that.
I can't control how you young people talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use that F-word with your mother.
From: Tfinnhead@
Thank you for this.
From: "Matt Chanoff" <mattchanoff@>
Martin,
I appreciate the eminem lyric here, as much for the debate it
occassioned as for the poem itself, which I think works so much better
with the music that it's mostly a waste to look at it on the page. The
question of more traditional poetry that echoes rap themes -- bragging,
word-fights with other poets, foul language, etcetra, put me in mind of
the Kalevala, the Finnish national epic. I vaguely recalled a word dual
between two of the wizards that might fill the bill, but I couldn't find
a copy of the book anywhere. So I wrote to my brother, who speaks
Finnish, and he replied as below:
..The passage you recall is "Runo Kolme"
(Poem Three), one of the best-known Kalevala episodes. It's about Young
Joukahainen, "the lanky lad
of Lapland," who is so impressed by his own knowledge of ancient songs
and spells that he goes off to challenge Old Stern Vainamoinen, the
wizard of Kalevala (and model for Gandolf). Driving his sleigh wildly
into the wizard's countryside, he crashes by chance into Vainamoinen's
own sleigh. There's a lot of cursing and anger and discussion about
who should get out of whose way, Vainamoinen contending that the younger
should make way for the elder, to which Joukahainen answers:
Vaha on miehen nuoruuesta
Nuoruuesta, vanuuesta
Kumpi on tieoilta parempi
Muistannalta mahtavampi
Sep' on tiella seisokahan
Toinen tielta siirtykahan
which translates very roughly
What's up with this age crap?
Youth, age, who gives a rap?
The one who busts a phatter rhyme
Who's got the smarts
And beats the time
He's the one who gets to go
The other one's a punk-ass ho.
OK, says Vainamoinen,
Sano korvin kuullakseni
Mita sina eninta tieat
or
My ears are waiting
Let's see what you've got
The contest that follows could have come right out of "Eight Mile."
Needless to say, Vainamoinen punks Joukahainen out big time. He sings
him into the ground, literally, and Joukahainen only gets out by giving
his young beautiful sister to the old guy.
Velipoikasi (yourbrotherboy)
From: "Matt Chanoff" <mattchanoff@>
Martin,
I appreciate the eminem lyric here, as much for the debate it
occassioned as for the poem itself, which I think works so much better
with the music that it's mostly a waste to look at it on the page. The
question of more traditional poetry that echoes rap themes -- bragging,
word-fights with other poets, foul language, etcetra, put me in mind of
the Kalevala, the Finnish national epic. I vaguely recalled a word dual
between two of the wizards that might fill the bill, but I couldn't find
a copy of the book anywhere. So I wrote to my brother, who speaks
Finnish, and he replied as below:
.The passage you recall is "Runo Kolme"
(Poem Three), one of the best-known Kalevala episodes. It's about Young
Joukahainen, "the lanky lad
of Lapland," who is so impressed by his own knowledge of ancient songs
and spells that he goes off to challenge Old Stern Vainamoinen, the
wizard of Kalevala (and model for Gandolf). Driving his sleigh wildly
into the wizard's countryside, he crashes by chance into Vainamoinen's
own sleigh. There's a lot of cursing and anger and discussion about
who should get out of whose way, Vainamoinen contending that the younger
should make way for the elder, to which Joukahainen answers:
Vaha on miehen nuoruuesta
Nuoruuesta, vanuuesta
Kumpi on tieoilta parempi
Muistannalta mahtavampi
Sep' on tiella seisokahan
Toinen tielta siirtykahan
which translates very roughly
What's up with this age crap?
Youth, age, who gives a rap?
The one who busts a phatter rhyme
Who's got the smarts
And beats the time
He's the one who gets to go
The other one's a punk-ass ho.
OK, says Vainamoinen,
Sano korvin kuullakseni
Mita sina eninta tieat
or
My ears are waiting
Let's see what you've got
The contest that follows could have come right out of "Eight Mile."
Needless to say, Vainamoinen punks Joukahainen out big time. He sings
him into the ground, literally, and Joukahainen only gets out by giving
his young beautiful sister to the old guy.
Velipoikasi (yourbrotherboy)
From: Bryan Parry <bajparry@>
>>>
Let the president answer a higher anarchy
Strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war
Let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight
on our own soil
No more psychological warfare, to trick us to thinking
that we ain't loyal
If we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing a
hero
Look in his eyes its all lies
The stars and stripes, they've been swiped, washed out
and wiped
And replaced with his own face, Mosh now or die
If I get sniped tonight you'll know why,
Cause I told you to fight.
<<<
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats
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