[1521] The Bloody Orkneys
Another poem in our series on 'The Poet Cranky', submitted by Frank O'Shea
<foshea@>:
Since I suggested this topic, here is another one to keep things going.
This bloody town's a bloody cuss
No bloody trains, no bloody bus,
And no one cares for bloody us
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody roads are bloody bad,
The bloody folks are bloody mad,
They'd make the brightest bloody sad,
In bloody Orkney.
All bloody clouds, and bloody rains,
No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains,
The Council's got no bloody brains,
In bloody Orkney.
Everything's so bloody dear,
A bloody bob, for bloody beer,
And is it good? - no bloody fear,
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody 'flicks' are bloody old,
The bloody seats are bloody cold,
You can't get in for bloody gold
In bloody Orkney.
The bloody dances make you smile,
The bloody band is bloody vile,
It only cramps your bloody style,
In bloody Orkney.
No bloody sport, no bloody games,
No bloody fun, the bloody dames
Won't even give their bloody names
In bloody Orkney.
Best bloody place is bloody bed,
With bloody ice on bloody head,
You might as well be bloody dead,
In bloody Orkney
-- Hamish Blair
|
I have no idea who the author is, but would love to learn.
Anyone who goes to the Orkneys or to any other Scottish islands and
complains about the beer deserves everything they get. People who visit
Scottish islands should stick to single malt and if they complain about
that, they are about ready to be put down. Before I die, I would love to
spend a week in Islay - you don't allow advertisements, I suppose, so I had
better not say any more.
Frank.
[this poem is archived, accessible and awaiting your comments at]
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/1521.html
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From: "Ian Baillieu" <ianbaill@>
With 'bloody' pronounced 'bluidy' no doubt. Should have
been written that way!
I recall reading somewhere that this poem expressed the
frustration, not of the Orkney locals, but of troops posted
there in the war. Sources on the Internet say the author
was Captain Hamish Blair, RN. So it was probably the navy,
not the army.
From: Gill Ewing <gill.ewing@>
"Bloody Orkney" was a favourite party poem when I was at university in
Edinburgh in the 1960s - usually declaimed by a bunch of rather drunk
undergraduate men at some stage during the evening.
Given that the best beer is made in S. Scotland or N. England I would
suppose Orkney beer to be pretty bad if they make it themselves (too far
north for the ingredients) and very expensive if imported, which I'm sure
it must be. Maybe they import from Scandinavia - in which case, according
to my husband, it is certain to be dreadful!
Thanks for reawakening a long-lost souvenir!
Gill Ewing
From: MLynd@ Tue Jun 22 13:04:05 2004
Pedantry=20first=20-=20this=20should=20be=20called=20"Bloody=20Orkney"=20rather=20than=20"The=20Bloody=20Orkneys"
Secondly,=20you=20are=20missing=20the=20last=20verse:
There's=20nothing=20greets=20your=20bloody=20eye
But=20bloody=20sea=20and=20bloody=20sky
"Roll=20on=20demob!"=20we=20bloody=20cry
In=20bloody=20Orkney.
"Demob"=20confirms=20the=20wartime=20origin=20of=20the=20piece=20since=20this=20of=20course=20a=20reference=20to=20demobilisation,=20i.e.=20being=20released=20from=20conscription.
The=20Royal=20Navy=20had=20a=20huge=20naval=20base=20and=20anchorage=20at=20Scapa=20Flow=20in=20the=20Orkneys,=20which=20would=20explain=20Captain=20Blair's=20enforced=20exile=20there.
best=20wishes,
Mike=20Lynd
This=20message=20is=20confidential=20and=20may=20contain=20privileged=20information.=20It=20is=20for=20the=20named=20intended=20recipient=20only.=20If=20you=20receive=20it=20in=20error=20please=20e-mail=20the=20sender=20at=20the=20address=20above=20to=20notify=20us=20and=20destroy=20the=20original=20message,=20not=20keeping=20a=20copy.=20It=20is=20possible=20for=20e-mails=20to=20be=20intercepted=20or=20affected=20by=20viruses.=20Whilst=20we=20maintain=20virus=20checks=20on=20inbound=20e-mails,=20we=20accept=20no=20liability=20for=20viruses=20or=20other=20material=20introduced=20with=20this=20message.
___________________________________________________________________
This=20message=20has=20been=20checked=20for=20all=20known=20viruses=20by=20the=20MessageLabs=20Virus=20Control=20Centre.
From: Acatcalledfish@
Yes, the author is accredited as Captn. Hamish Blair, and the poem is sung as
a folk song throughout the midlands. Apparently the locals added their own
comments thus;
Captain Hamish "Bloody" Blair
Isna posted here nae mare
But no-one seems to bloody care
In bloody Orkney