[1571] Jewish Wedding in Bombay
Guest poem sent in by Arvind Natarajan <arvindnatarajan@>
Her mother shed a tear or two but wasn't really
crying. It was the thing to do, so she did it
enjoying every moment. The bride laughed when I
sympathized, and said don't be silly.
Her brothrs had a shoe of mine and made me pay
to get it back. The game delighted all the neighbours'
children, who never stopped staring at me, the reluctant
bridegroom of the day.
There was no dowry because they knew I was 'modern'
and claimed to be modern too. Her father asked me how
much jewellery I expected him to give away with his daughter.
When I said I did't know, he laughed it off.
There was no brass band outside the synagogue
but I remember a chanting procession or two, some rituals,
lots of skull-caps, felt hats, decorated shawls
and grape juice from a common glass for bride and
bridegroom.
I remember the breaking of the glass and the congregation
clapping which signified that we were well and truly married
according to the Mosaic Law.
Well that's about all. I don't think there was much
that struck me as solemn or beautiful. Mostly, we were
amused, and so were the others. Who knows how much belief
we had?
Even the most orthodox it was said ate beef because it
was cheaper, and some even risked their souls by
relishing pork.
The Sabbath was for betting and swearing and drinking.
Nothing extravagant, mind you, all in a low key
and very decently kept in check. My father used to say,
these orthodox chaps certainly know how to draw the line
in their own crude way. He himself had drifted into the liberal
creed but without much conviction, taking us all with him.
My mother was very proud of being 'progressive'.
Anyway as I was saying, there was that clapping and later
we went to the photographic studio of Lobo and Fernandes,
world-famous specialists in wedding portraits. Still later,
we lay on a floor-matress in the kitchen of my wife's
family apartment and though it was part midnight she
kept saying let's do it darling let's do it darling
so we did it.
More than ten years passed before she told me that
she remembered being very disappointed. Is that all
there is to it? She had wondered. Back from London
eighteen months earlier, I was horribly out of practice.
During our first serious marriage quarrel she said Why did
you take my virginity from me? I would gladly have
returned it, but not one of the books I had read
instructed me how.
-- Nissim Ezekiel
|
The poem starts with the setting of an Indian jewish wedding, then drifts into
the community's ways of living (how Indianised it has become) and finally ends
with looking back in life. Asked once how he could have written this poem,
Ezekiel retorted with, "Who is the 'we' in the poem?"
I liked Ezekiel's poking humor, "some even risked their souls by relishing
pork", "the photographic studio of Lobo and Fernandes, world-famous specialists
in wedding portraits" in particular.
Ezekiel is a legend and is considered the father of modern Indian poetry. Found
the above one in the Sahitya Akademi's journal which published an article and
some of his poems in rememberance of his death.
Arvind
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From: "Gwilym Williams" <gwil@>
Thanks for introducing me to Nissim Ezekiel and his dry humour. I
enjoyed The Patriot too and will have a look at his other work.
All power to his wide-seeing eye. Gwil Williams
ps- re Jewish Wedding in Bombay: line 5: check spelling of brothers
From: "Bryan Alexander" <Bryan_Alexander@>
Because poem #1570 was Corso's "Marriage," we now have two poems in a row
whose narrators express confusion about what is exchanged in a marriage.
From: "Bryan Alexander" <Bryan_Alexander@>
In the case of Corso: "When she introduces me to her parents back
straightened, hair finally combed, strangled by a tie *." These lines and
many others show the narrator's attention to differences in social class
between him and the women to whom he is attracted. In Ezekiel's poem,
someone jokes to the narrator about dowry; the narrator doesn't joke back
but seems serious, and seriously confused, although it's not the terms in
the question that confuse. He does know what a dowry is. During a quarrel,
his wife accuses him of having taken her virginity against her will,
although sexual intercourse is (universally?) acknowledged as an act
automatically consented to upon marriage (leaving aside the meaning of her
remembered words, "let's do it"). She too seems to be confused about what
is exchanged in marriage. In the narrator's final admission of confusion,
he refers to the futility of finding answers in his books, and given the
context of confusion, one cannot read those lines as simply ridiculing his
wife's accusation. Those books--were they books on sexual practice or
books on the laws of marriage? I myself am confused. I would not say that
either civil or religious law clarifies, or should clarify, the nature of
the exchange. I just want to suggest that confusion on the issue may be
quite prevalent, despite our modernity and our supposed superiority to the
"old ways." Perhaps there really is no exchange=AFhowever poignantly a
wedding attempts to symbolize one. Perhaps a marriage simply effects some
unpredictable gains and losses. In the modern condition here in the U.S.,
it is often said that a wedding glorifies the bride, and it is her
"special day," and sometimes the most important day of her life. The groom
has less of an investment, financially and emotionally, in the ceremony
and its accompanying events. What do you women minstrels say about all of
this? And you gay minstrels? bryanhahah@