[24] On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness

Following on from Ozymandias...

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

	-- Arthur Guiterman

A refreshingly humorous spin on the subject - the punchline drops into place
neatly. Guiterman has written a number of vaguely Nashish poems, of which
this is probably the most famous - personally, the only other things I'd
heard of his were the following fragment:

  Of all cold words of tongue or pen
  The worst are these: "I knew him when--"
        -Arthur Guiterman, 'Prophets in Their Own Country'

and, From Richard Lederer's 'Adventures of a Verbivore' (good book, btw):

  "It's not true that no words rhyme with orange . . . However, there was a
  man -- I'm not kidding -- named Henry Honeychurch Gorringe.  He was a naval
  commander who in the midnineteenth century oversaw the transport of
  Cleopatra's Needle to New York's Central Park.  Pouncing on this event, the
  poet Arthur Guiterman wrote:

	In Sparkhill buried lies a man of a mark
	Who brought the Obelisk to Central Park,
	Redoubtable Commander H. H. Gorringe,
	Whose name supplies the long-sought rhyme for orange.

  So orange is rhymable."

He does not appear to have led the world's most interesting life either -
some dedicated websearching turned up the  following, which for lack of a
better name I'll call a

Biographical Note:

  Guiterman, Arthur, American poet, 1871-1943.

Martin

From: Barbara Thompson <belle@>

I am looking for a poem by Arthur Guiterman titled "Pershing at the
Front".  I can't find it anywhere.    belle@

From: "Ilza Carvalho" <ilza@>

actually Guiterman did have a great life ... 
- you can read about him in  Famous American Humorous poets, 
by Everett S. SAllen

From: Jaadubb@

If you've ever seen or read Arthur Guiterman's humorous poetry the likes of 
Pershing at the Front, Strictly Germ Proof (1910) , The Dogs Cold Nose or 
Little Lost Pup, you get the feeling you're reading Theodore Geisel. 

From: "Sam & Jew" <samjew@>

Hello!

Thank you for posting Arthur's poem on the web.  I am looking for
information about Arthur Guiterman.  I have searched the net and found
nothing.  Can you please help me.
Thank You

Mike

samjew@

From: Richard Haluska <rmhaluska@>

I've been looking for "Pershing at the Front" for years.  I didn't even
know the author's name until today.  I read it in a literature anthology
in 7th or 8th grade, around 1960.  Does anyone know its whereabouts?

Richard H.

From: "Ruth Ann Danielson" <ruth.annd@>

I found "Pershing at the Front" by simply putting that title into my search
engine, Google.
I knew about this poem from my jr. high years when I learned it in
connection with a choral reading group I was a member of, about 8 years
earlier than your jr. high years.  Maybe this is just something that clicks
with early teens.

From: "Herbert Patterson" <bompi5@>

while looking up Arthur Guiterman I found your posting and you mention
"Little lost pup" and "Dogs cold noses"  Do you have copies of these
poems or a web site where I can fine them.  I looked for them on the web
but havent been able to find them....

thank you,,,please respond to MCGrammy@ and not this email
address.....
I'm using my father email and if you respond to this address I won't get
the info.  thanks for any help,

Donna

From: GrandmaBarb51@

Please let me know where I can find his poem Little lost Pup.by Arthur 
Guiterman...I recall it as a child and would like to read it to my 
granddaughter....thank you....

Here is all that I can remember

Little lost pup.....alone was he.....for he never barked at a slinking cat, 
but stood in the sqaure where the wind blew raw
With drooping ears and trembling paws, etc.....LOL!