[716] Warning

Title : Warning
Poet : Jenny Joseph
Date :  6 Mar 2001
1stLine: When I am an old wom...
Length : 22 Text-only version  
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Warning
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

	-- Jenny Joseph


A refreshingly unrepentant poem about growing old... it does offer a wee bit
of editorializing on the subject of society's attitude towards the aged (and
fixation with appearances), but it's basically just a charming piece of
whimsy, and deserves to be appreciated for that and that alone.

thomas.

PS. I seem to remember "Warning" being voted the most popular post-war poem
in England, in some newspaper survey or the other... so that puts it right
up there with "Daffodils" and "If" and other perennial favourites.

[From the-sublime-to-the-ridiculous dept.]

Another, errm, 'poem' attributed to Jenny Joseph has been making the rounds
lately:

 "A Warning from an Old Lady"

 If I had to live life over
 I'd try to make more mistakes next time
 I would relax, I'd limber up
 I would be sillier than I have been on this trip
 I know of very few things I would take seriously
 I would be crazier, I would be less hygienic
 I would take more chances
 I would take more trips
 I would climb more mountains
 Swim more rivers
 And watch more sunsets.
 I would eat more ice cream and less beans
 I'd pick more daisies

	-- NOT Jenny Joseph
	[actually, it's based on an essay by a certain Dan Herold, whoever
he is]

The above effusion is a typical example of the annoyingly sentimental guff
that seems to proliferate on the Internet; needless to say, I consider it
almost completely bereft of poetic merit. Nonetheless I find it interesting
because of the way Joseph's name has come to be associated with it -
interesting because it does echo at least a few of the ideas underlying
Joseph's original poem [1]. A fascinating example of symbiotic memes...

[1] while completely missing the point of the latter, of course. And being
desperately unfunny to boot.

[Links]

Pete Davis' "For Jenny Joseph and Anne Davis" offers the point of view of an
innocent bystander watching an "An old woman in a beauty parlor / standing
on her head, up to her ears / in shampoo, singing Joy To The World "... the
final couplet is especially funny:
http://www.lavondyss.com/writings/poems/purple.html
I don't know who Anne Davis is, though.

There are lots of poems about aging on the Minstrels, none of which I can
remember right now. You can browse the entire list at
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/

[A Very Brief Biography]

 b 1932.
 Poet and prose writer.

Joseph has been writing since 1961 (her first publication was The
Unlooked-for Season, a volume of poetry). In 1974 she won the Cholmondely
award for Rose in the Afternoon. Other volumes include: The Thinking Heart
(1978) and Beyond Descartes (1983). She also writes for children.

	-- Bloomsbury Dictionary of English Literature

From: "rODbegbie" <rOD@>

This poem was the inspiration for the <a
href="http://www.redhatsociety.com/">Red Hat Society</a>.

From: "Jeanne Morales" <ljm@>

I have loved this poem for many, many years and have a framed copy
hanging in my bedroom.
It is a favorite of all my sisters and my best friend.  We all plan to
wear red and purple as much as possible.

From: "Paul Hambleton" <paulanpaul@>

I love this poem, if not for the simple fact I do wear a LOT OF PURPLE,
although it must be said with a short red skirt!!

This was read out at a friends wedding and it was met with lots of
chortling and clapping, because we knew that Emma would indeed wear
purple and red and that Aidan would indeed eat sausages and collect
strange and wonderful items in small boxes.
Yes, I love this poem.
Definately a fav.

Paula 1967 Allum

From: "James Lawrence" <terrobj@>

I love this poem also! Jenny Joseph was brilliant when she wrote this
piece. When I am old woman I will wear purple.........
I am trying hard to find a "framed copy" as you state you have hanging
in your home. Where did you find it? I have been looking everywhere!!!
Please help this old woman explain her ideas by letting me know where I
might find a framed copy!
Thank you ever so much,
Terri Lawrence
terrobj@
3722 S. Pacific Hwy
Medford, OR 97501
541-535-4351

From: ZippyOffRainbow@

this poem is just something else...i was a woman returner at college and to 
differentiate between old and young, our tutor made this poem an essential 
read when we all first started...and then 'Purple Day' was born. one day 
every year we had to wear the most outrageous purple things we could possibly 
lay our hands on and we even made it into the local paper with it!! Copies of 
this poem were pinned up everywhere and it became a kind of institution!! 
everywhere you look in my house, i have purple (if i can manage it!)  have 
even changed my christmas tree trimmings to complete..yep..PURPLE!!

well done on posting this on the web and thank you for me being able to have 
a secret slight smile to myself!!

P.S. have you noticed that they have now used a section of it on a national 
television advert??!!

From: "Ruth & Alan Hendrickson" <wulf@>

Hi, Havee you found the framed copy of "Warning" yet? I have been
surfing and come up with this website where you can get one.  From
another 'old' lady that does wear purple, Ruth

http://www.elizabethlucasdesigns.com/index.html

From: "perret@" <perret@perret.karoo.co.uk>

    Terrific. A defiant poem about real wishes in a real world shaped by
the real fear of growing old.

From: Tavani@

My mother has had this poem hanging on her wall for sometime.  She and all
who read it said that Jenny Joseph must have had my mother in mind when
writing this.  The poem captured the essence of my mother in great detail.
Unfortunately my mother died in March 2003.  I felt it fitting to read this
poem at the funeral services.  It brought smiles to the faces of all who
knew her.  Living with my mother was like a never ending episode of "I Luv
Lucy".  I have a copy of the poem.  When I miss my mother I read this to
myself to get a chuckle.  Just as she would have wanted it.  

Frederick J. Tavani, Jr., 

From: GBent35191@

My Mother passed away suddenly Christmas Eve 2002.  She had sent me a copy of 
this poem several times and mentioned it more than once to explain her 
"unusual" personality.  When the weather warmed up and I started looking for 
something to plant on her grave, purple thrift seemed the obvious choice.  
Mom would have loved the thought and the fact that I was doing it to 
celebrate her unique spirit.  I am sure she is up there with he gossamer 
angels wings, which don't really match her purple dress and red hat...all 
with her bright red hair!  :)

From: "James" <James@>

My seventeen year old grandson has just shown me this poem. It's
wonderful and full of truisms

From: Bernice <patches95@>

From     patches95@

      The other day some of us ladies were out having coffee at the local cafe and this topic came up and I found it interesting as I'd never heard of it before , So I had to surf the net and see what they were talking about , I found lots to read and did enjoy the poem Warning by Jenny Joseph , about wearing red hats and purple , guess I've reached the age were I learn new things again .

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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=4>From     <A 
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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=4>      The other day some 
of us ladies were out having coffee at the local cafe and this topic came up and 
I found it interesting as I'd never heard of it before , So I had to surf the 
net and see what they were talking about , I found lots to read and did enjoy 
the poem Warning by Jenny Joseph , about wearing red hats and purple , guess 
I've reached the age were I learn new things again .</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>

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From: IRDAR@

   I have just lucked out on a copy of "When I am an Old Woman" at my local 
thrift store. Could I possibly scan this and e-mail it to you? I have a pretty 
nice scanner and I believe it would do a wonderful job. Let me know... I 
certainly don't mind at all.         Sincerely, Darla

From: "Lorraine Kerzner" <lorrainecogan@>

Type out a copy on nice paper  - mat it and a simple black frame and
voila' you have a framed copy of a brillant poem.

Lorraine

From: WAnthony@



            With Apologies to Poet Jenny Joseph

                  One Man's Warning

            When I am an old gent, I shall wear purple
            With outfits which don't match, and don't suit me.
            And I shall spend my pension on frivolity and summer outings
            And impractical shoes, and say I've no money for Cable.
            I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
            And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
            And run my stick along the public railings
            And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
            I shall go out barefoot in the rain
            And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
            And be a perfect curmudgeon.

            One can wear terrible shirts and grow more portly
            And eat three pizzas at a go
            Or only bread and pineapple for a week
            And hoard pens and hotel soaps and things in boxes.

            For now we must have clothes that keep us dry
            And pay our rent and not swear too much in the street
            And set a good example for the youth.
            We must have friends to tea and read the news.

            But maybe I ought to practice a little more now?
            So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
            When suddenly I am old, and insist on wearing purple.

From: TAMBISH@

If you still are offering...I'd love to have a copy of this.  I had ordered 
it on line for my mother for Christmas....but as Christmas is tomorrow and it 
isn't here, it looks like she won't be getting it.

Thank you!

From: Plmcdowell@

You wrote:

From: IRDAR@

   I have just lucked out on a copy of "When I am an Old Woman" at my local 
thrift store. Could I possibly scan this and e-mail it to you? I have a 
pretty 
nice scanner and I believe it would do a wonderful job. Let me know... I 
certainly don't mind at all.         Sincerely, Darla

While I recognize theis message was NOT directed to me, I would genuinely 
appreciate receiving a scanned copy of the poem.

Cheers!

Pat Lewis McDowell
Shreveport, LA
plmcdowell@

From: LFOXCMC@

This poem is fantastic and I would love to have a scanned copy of it to pass 
along to some of my friends if possible.  Thanks.  Lisa Fox  lfoxcmc@ 
or Lisa Fox  17 Rolling Springs Ct.  Carmel, IN  46033

From: VAH0428@

You may be tired of sending scanned copies of Jenny Joseph's Warning poem but 
I would love to have a scanned copy.  We are getting ready to start a new 
chapter of The Red Hat Society.

                                              Thank you,
                                            vah0428@

From: Lesley Bommer <TheLadyofPineHill@>

Dear Darla,

                  I too have read "When I am an Old Woman" and loved it.
Could I be so bold, to ask you to scan your copy....and send it to me
I would love to have a copy.
                   Thank you for your kindness,
                              to an old woman,
                                           Lesley

From: Clara Atkins <CPeaches@>

Hi, I was just reading comments on the poem, "When I am an Old Women. I don't know how long ago you posted you had a copy and would scan and send it to others. I would love to have this if you possibly have the time. I love the poem and have reached the age, to appreciate it. Thanks Clara

From: Marineteelblink@


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Hello, how kind of you to give us this chance to share.
I simply loved it and understand why people keep on passing it onto  
others.Its funny and witty and reminded me of this one by John Arden and it's in his 
play"The happy haven" which is worth reading.(By Penguin)' You may find it 
cruel or sad but if you consider the lady is in an old-people home and this is 
just part of a play you 'll accept this from this elderly lady:
'I'm an old lady/and I don't have long to live ./I am only strong enough to 
take/Not to give.No time left to give./I want to drink, I want to eat,/I want 
my shoes taken off my feet./i want to talk but not to walk/because If I walk,I 
have to know/Where it is I want to go./I want to sleep but not to dream/I want 
to play and win every game/To live with love but not to love/The world to 
move but me not move/I want I want for ever and  ever./The world to work ,the 
world to be clever./Leave me be,but don't leave me alone./That's what I want .I'm 
a big round stone/Sitting in the middle of a thunderstorm ./There you 
are:that's true.?That's me.Now:you.
If you ever read the play you'll see what this so-called old lady 
manages to do to the scientist which was using the elderly people as 
guinea-pigs for experience.LOL(Sorry if you already have)

Marinete

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I simply loved it and understand why people keep on passing it onto  others.Its funny and witty and reminded me of this one by John Arden and it's=20in his play"The happy haven" which is worth reading.(By Penguin)' You may find it cruel or sad but if you consider the lady is in an old-people home and this is just part of a play you 'll accept this from this elderly lady:<BR>
'I<I>'m an old lady/and I don't have long to live ./I am only strong enough=20to take/Not to give.No time left to give./I want to drink, I want to eat,/I=20want my shoes taken off my feet./i want to talk but not to walk/because If I walk,I have to know/Where it is I want to go./I want to sleep but not to dream/I want to play and win every game/To live with love but not to love/The=20world to move but me not move/I want I want for ever and  ever./The world to work ,the world to be clever./Leave me be,but don't leave me alone./That's what I want .I'm a big round stone/Sitting in the middle of a thunderstorm ./There you are:that's true.?That's me.Now:you.<BR>
</I>If you ever read the play you'll see what this so-called old lady <BR>
manages to do to the scientist which was using the elderly people as guinea-pigs for experience.LOL(Sorry if you already have)</FONT><FONT  COLOR""#000000" SIZE"3 PTSIZE"12 FAMILY""SANSSERIF" FACE""Arial" LANG""8"><I><BR>
<BR>
</FONT><FONT  COLOR""#0000ff" SIZE"3 PTSIZE"12 FAMILY""SCRIPT" FACE""Lucida Handwriting" LANG""8">Marinete</I></FONT></HTML>

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--part1_a1.5094019b.2eb6b326_boundary--

From: GR8M8s4ever@

Darla,

I'm a member of "The Happy Red Hatter's" in St. Louis, MO.  I  haven't a 
"Clue" as to how long ago you offered to scan your copy of the Poem  "Warning" by 
Jenny Joseph,  "IF"  I may be so bold as to impose  on your good nature, would 
you be so kind as to send me a scanned copy of your  copy of the Poem?  My  
email address is _GR8M8s4ever@ (mailto:GR8M8s4ever@aol.com) .           


Sincere Thanks & God Bless,

 Lady Chatter "B"  

From: "Manish" <player_manish@>

what is the meaning of this poem?

From: wellsharbor@ (Earl Strout)