'The Soldiers of our Queen' DRAGOONS: The soldiers of our Queen Are linked in friendly tether; Upon the battle scene They fight the foe together. There ev'ry mother's son Prepared to fight and fall is; The enemy of one The enemy of all is! The enemy of one The enemy of all is! [On an order from the MAJOR they fall back.] [Enter the COLONEL. All salute.] COLONEL: If you want a receipt for that popular mystery, Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon, DRAGOONS: [saluting] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! COLONEL: Take all the remarkable people in history, Rattle them off to a popular tune. DRAGOONS: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! COLONEL: The pluck of Lord Nelson on board of the Victory -- Genius of Bismarck devising a plan -- The humour of Fielding (which sounds contradictory) -- Coolness of Paget about to trepan -- The science of Jullien, the eminent musico -- Wit of Macaulay, who wrote of Queen Anne -- The pathos of Paddy, as rendered by Boucicault -- Style of the Bishop of Sodor and Man -- The dash of a D'Orsay, divested of quackery -- Narrative powers of Dickens and Thackeray -- Victor Emmanuel -- peak-haunting Peveril -- Thomas Aquinas, and Doctor Sacheverell -- Tupper and Tennyson -- Daniel Defoe -- Anthony Trollope and Mister Guizot! Ah! DRAGOONS: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! COLONEL DRAGOONS Take of these elements all A Heavy Dragoon, that is fusible a Heavy Dragoon, Melt them all down in a A Heavy Dragoon, pipkin or crucible a Heavy Dragoon, Set them to simmer, A Heavy Dragoon and take off the scum, a Heavy Dragoon, And a Heavy Dragoon Is the residuum! is the residuum! COLONEL: If you want a receipt for this soldier-like paragon, Get at the wealth of the Czar (if you can) -- The family pride of a Spaniard from Aragon -- Force of Mephisto pronouncing a ban -- A smack of Lord Waterford, reckless and rollicky -- Swagger of Roderick, heading his clan -- The keen penetration of Paddington Pollaky -- Grace of an Odalisque on a divan -- The genius strategic of Caesar or Hannibal -- Skill of Sir Garnet in thrashing a cannibal -- Flavour of Hamlet -- the Stranger, a touch of him -- Little of Manfred (but not very much of him) -- Beadle of Burlington -- Richardson's show -- Mister Micawber and Madame Tussaud! Ah! DRAGOONS: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! COLONEL DRAGOONS Take of these elements all A Heavy Dragoon, that is fusible a Heavy Dragoon, Melt them all down in a A Heavy Dragoon, pipkin or crucible a Heavy Dragoon, Set them to simmer, A Heavy Dragoon and take off the scum, a Heavy Dragoon, And a Heavy Dragoon Is the residuum! is the residuum! -- W. S. Gilbert