'The Workman's Friend' When things go wrong and will not come right, Though you do the best you can, When life looks black as the hour of night - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. When money's tight and hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. When health is bad and your heart feels strange, And your face is pale and wan, When doctors say you need a change, A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. When food is scarce and your larder bare And no rashers grease your pan, When hunger grows as your meals are rare - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. In time of trouble and lousy strife, You have still got a darlint plan You still can turn to a brighter life - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN. -- Flann O'Brien