An alternate view of the universe

[Stuart Freedman <stuart@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

[Ed:  There are a zillion of these computer glossaries floating around,
but this one was actually amusing.]

Relayed-From:  Bob Starkey

          {point beta test, v.}  To voluntarily entrust one's data,
          one's livelihood and one's sanity to hardware or software
          intended to destroy all three.  In earlier days, virgins were
          often selected to beta test volcanos.

          {point bit, n.}  A unit of measure applied to color.
          Twenty-four-bit color refers to expensive $3 color as opposed
          to the cheaper 25 cent, or two-bit, color that use to be
          available a few years ago.

          {point buzzword, n.}  The fly in the ointment of computer
          literacy.

          {point clone, n.}  1.  An exact duplicate, as in "our product
          is a clone of their product."  2.  A shoddy, spurious copy,
          as in "their product is a clone of our product."

          {point enhance, v.}  To tamper with an image, usually to its
          detriment.

          {point genlock, n.}  Why he stays in the bottle.

          {point guru, n.}  A computer owner who can read the manual.

          {point handshaking protocol, n.}  A process employed by
          hostile hardware devices to initiate a terse but civil
          dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by occasional
          misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.

          {point italic, adj.}  Slanted to the right to emphasize key
          phrases.  Unique to Western alphabets; in Eastern languages,
          the same phrases are often slanted to the left.

          {point Japan, n.}  A fictional place where elves, gnomes and
          economic imperialists create electronic equipment and
          computers using black magic.  It is said that in the capital
          city of Akihabara, the streets are paved with gold and
          semiconductor chips grow on low bushes from which they are
          harvested by the happy natives.

          {point kern, v.}  1.  To pack type together as tightly as the
          kernels on an ear of corn.  2.  In parts of Brooklyn and
          Queens, N.Y., a small, metal object used as part of the
          monetary system.

          {point modem, adj.}  Up-to-date, new-fangled, as in
          "Thoroughly Modem Millie."  An unfortunate byproduct of
          kerning.

          {point pixel, n.}  A mischievous, magical spirit associated
          with screen displays.  The computer industry has frequently
          borrowed from mythology:  Witness the sprites in computer
          graphics, the demons in artificial intelligence, and the
          trolls in the marketing department.

          {point prototype, n.}  First stage in the life cycle of a
          computer product, followed by pre-alpha, alpha, beta, release
          version, corrected release version, upgrade, corrected
          upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the prototype is not
          expected to work.

          {point revolutionary, adj.}  Repackaged.

          {point Unix, N.}  A computer operating system, once thought
          to be flabby and impotent, that now shows a surprising
          interest in making off with the workstation harem.