What Type of Villain Are You?

[tk421@xxxxxxxxx (John Hubbard)]

In the spirit of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, this document
presents, as a guide for identifying the bad guys, a taxonomy of
villains, divided by three axes:  Ugly-Attractive; Smart-Dumb; and
Hidden-Open.

* Ugly-Attractive *

Although deformations are not sufficient to mark an entity as a bad
guy, since some freaks are a source for sympathy (Hunchback of Notre
Dame, Elephant Man, Swamp Thing), mutations and false body parts
(Treasure Island, Last Action Hero) are red flags for villains,
possibly out for revenge for their injury (Moby Dick), or aliens in
disguise (V, Men In Black).  Grotesque aliens are evil (Alien), but
benevolent aliens exist as bright entities such as beams of light
(Cocoon, The Abyss).

Be wary, however, of how obvious the villains seem, as the unnamed
creepy looking guy in the background is often actually one of the good
guys (The Player, The Sting).  Movies with a focus on comedy and satire
will also be exceptions to these rules (Dr.  Strangelove).  When
characters turn physically ugly, they are often turning bad (The
Exorcist, The Fly), but again, disfigurement is not always a sign of
evil (The Crow, Darkman).

Attractive villains use their good looks to act as corrupting seducers
(The Graduate, Cape Fear) or as femme fatelles (Goldeneye).  The
villain also may covet the hero?s sexual partner (Ghost, Pacific
Heights, Unlawful Entry).  Despite their good or bad looks, cats and
dogs can identify villains by hissing and barking (Terminator) at them,
unless the animals themselves have gone bad (Cujo, Pet Sematary).

* Smart-Dumb *

The smart villains are diabolical geniuses, except for one or two fatal
misjudgments, often from pride or mental illness.  To identify his
intelligence, look for the villain with glasses, unless he is the geeky
good guy (The Untouchables), and perhaps a long and narrow face,
preferably with a beard (Aladdin, The Lion King).  The smart villain?s
typical opening scene shows him winning a chess game (New Jack City),
preferably without paying much attention to the game, or ideally
playing more than one opponent.  The smart villain also participates in
other high brow activities (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels).

The most common fatal flaw of the smart villain is shared by the dumb
villain, who leaves clues on purpose (Seven, Knight Moves), and does
not kill captured good guys immediately (almost all Connery Bond
films).  Another action which is debatable as smart or dumb, but which
definitely pegs him as a villain, is their habit of killing their own
henchmen (Batman, Robin Hood:  Price of Thieves, Empire Strikes Back),
just to show how evil they are.  A corollary to this rule is that the
good guy will define himself by contemplating killing the bad guy,
usually in revenge for a slain comrade, before doing the right thing
and arresting him (Miami Vice).  Villains who are clearly dumb are
those who set bombs that include a long timer showing the time before
explosion, and color coded wires that will be cut by the hero seconds
before detonation.

* Hidden-Open *

The hidden villains are the wolves in sheep?s clothing, the stunningly
hesitant talkers on the good side who telegraph they are hiding
something.  But fear not:  one of the bad guys can also be singled out
and may turn good (Star Trek Insurrection), but will likely be killed
in the redemption process.  Even more secretive villains are those who
reside within the minds of good people (Psycho, Dr.  Jekyl & Mr.  Hyde,
Gremlins).  Also, good guys can be hypnotized to act as villains (The
Manchurian Candidate, Naked Gun), and robots can be reprogrammed to
change sides to either good (Terminator 2) or evil (Lost in Space).

When looking for hidden villains, be on the lookout for identical twins
(Michelle Forbes, Guiding Light).  Although twin actors are usually in
bit parts or bad movies (The Barbarians), on occasion one accomplished
actor may play both twins (Dead Ringers), and even more rarely,
identical twins are cast to play the same character, usually for
effects purposes (Terminator 2).  Combining twin theory with the rule
above on villains in beards, we see that the twin with facial hair will
be the evil one (Knight Rider, Star Trek, Hercules).

Open villains are obviously easy to identify.  They are not necessarily
public figures, but will be open about being bad (Austin Powers).  Be
wary, however, as some well intentioned public figures may hold secret
identities as villains (Batman Forever, The Phantom Menace, L.A.
Confidential), similar to some rebellious heroes (The Mask of Zorro).

* Favorite Types *

Ugly Smart Open:  Jabba the Hutt, Wicked Witches, Sydney Greenstreet,
Hannibal Lecter Attractive Smart Hidden:  Female henchmen in Bond
movies, Terminator

This document was written by John Hubbard and first published at:
http://www.tk421.net/essays/villain.shtml on March 13, 2000.  Permission
is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium
provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is
appended.